Missing Family and Chris's Surgery

I think that the hardest part of being in a foreign country without family is when you go through times of celebration and times of hardships.  When all of the kids were born, I wished greatly that our family could have been here to share in those joyful first few moments.  When the kids celebrate birthdays, I always wish that their grandparents, aunts and uncles, and cousins could be here to watch them grow another year older.  And the last two days, I have longed to be near family more than I have during our entire time in Paraguay.  Yesterday, Chris had gall bladder surgery, an umbilical hernia repaired and a cyst taken off of his back.  Although these are all minor surgeries, it still makes me long to have family here just to be with us and to help out with the kids and with the recovery process.

Chris went in to have some tests ran last week because the hernia was starting to bother him.  The doctor wanted to check on his gall bladder to see how it was doing since he was already going to be working in that area.  He found a stone that was a dangerous size (small enough to enter into tubes, but big enough to easily get stuck and cause major complications).  He gave Chris the option on what to do.  We took the weekend to think about it and pray about it.  We felt like the risk was big enough, combined with that fact that our insurance here covers practically every cent of the surgery, that it was worth going ahead and getting it all taken care of.  So, on Monday, Chris let him know that he did want to have the surgery.

We planned that Rocio (who helps me with housework and who is the babysitter for the kids when I need her) would stay with the kids during the day, while I went with Chris to the hospital on the day of surgery.  He was supposed to go into surgery around 1pm on Thursday and then be out by around 3pm.  So, I had planned to stay with him in the hospital until I had to be back at the house around 6pm (Rocio has night school).  I didn't really like the idea of Chris staying in the hospital overnight by himself, but he kept assuring me and insisting that he would be fine and that I just needed to plan on going home to be with the kids.  Everyone on the team offered to help in any way that they could, but we really thought we had it covered okay with that plan.  And that way everyone else could continue with their normal Bible studies, spanish classes and daily routines as families. 

However, it seems that things don't usually work according to plan, especially when it comes to time schedules and Paraguay.  I should have known better!  Chris did leave the room around 1:15pm, as scheduled, but the surgeries took longer than I expected.  I got a phone call from the anesthesiologist around 3:00 saying that they had finished with the gall bladder surgery and that all had gone fine, but that he was in the middle of the hernia surgery.  So, more waiting.  Around 3:45, they called back saying that he was out of surgery and they were waiting for him to wake up.  The doctor thought he would be back to the room in about 30 minutes.  He got there around 4:45.  He was still groggy and he was hurting quite a bit.  I had been afraid to leave the room to eat all afternoon, for fear that they would call me while I was gone.  So, as soon as I got him settled, I ran down to the cafeteria and got a bite to eat.  I began to worry while I was eating because it was about 30 minutes before I needed to leave to go be with the kids.  The surgery had gone well, and he was back in the room, but I just did not feel comfortable leaving him by himself so soon after coming out of surgery.   However, it was very short notice to get anyone to stay with the kids longer. I called around to the team members, but on short notice, everyone already had plans.  Perry offered to cancel his studies, but I hated for him to do that for only a few hours (because I would have had to be there around 7 anyway to feed Olivia and get her to bed) So, I was worried and frustrated because I couldn't figure out what to do. And for the first time since we have moved here, I was just frustrated at the fact that we live in Paraguay, very far away from our family. I knew that if we had been near family, they would have just been there with us to help even if we had insisted that we had it covered (because that is just what family does!) I felt torn because I knew that I needed to be at home with the kids, but at the same time, I felt terrible leaving Chris.  And I knew that it was the plan to leave him, but that was when I thought I would have time to make sure he was okay first.  And I had certainly not thought through the emotions that I would feel having to leave him right after surgery.  I finally decided that I would go on home and once home, I would try to think of someone that could come and sleep at the house after I got the kids to bed.  And then I could come back and stay with him.  I made sure he had everything he needed and then I told the nurses that he was going to be by himself.  I felt even worse when they said "Oh, and you aren't coming back?"  I cried most of the way home.

I got home to some very happy-to-see-me kids, which was so sweet!  I talked to Chris's family to let them know he was okay and then called and talked to my mom.  She suggested that I try to call some people from church to see if anyone could help out since I was not comfortable with him being by himself.  I tried to think of who I could call and after one call (with no luck of finding anyone that was available), my phone ran out of minutes!   Following, is the part of the story where I actually began to find humor in my situation instead of just being totally stressed out.

I loaded the kids up in the car, all in their pajamas and drove to the pharmacy to try to add minutes to my phone. I had the idea that if I went to the drive-in pharmacy, I would not have to get all of them out of the car.  The machine that adds minutes to cell phones was broken at the pharmacy. Just my luck! So, we all went to the grocery store, pajamas and all. They were having a children's puppet show (not your normal puppet show, more like a mini rock concert type puppet show) out in the parking lot, so the grocery store was packed!  It took me a while to find a parking space.  I got a few strange looks for hauling three kids in pajamas through the grocery store.  But, we stood in line and paid at the cash register for my new phone minutes.  By that time, my mood had lightened a little and I decided that we should enjoy our little outing.  After all, the kids had been fabulous for Rocio and they were dealing very well with not getting to see their daddy and trying to understand exactly what all was going on with him.  So, I bought the kids ice cream cones from the Burger King that is attached to the grocery store. By the time I got back home, it was really too late to try to get anyone to help out. I called Chris and he sounded like he was doing much better and he assured me that he would be fine. He even laughed at me a little for being so worried.  And then, on my way home, Ike called me and said he was going to visit him at the hospital for a while. I felt much better by the end of the night knowing that he was doing okay and that he had someone with him for a while. And it all worked out okay!  He made it through the night without too much pain. 

This morning he is feeling better and watching TV (Can't beat a little "Crocodile Dundee" in spanish!). The doctor came in and took off his bandages and cleaned them and rebandaged him. Everything looks good. He is not in too much pain, so that is good. He says he can go home after they make sure he does okay with lunch.  So, I still wish that our families could be here with us.  But, God has once again taken care of us and given us just what we need at just the right time.  He is good like that!