Monday, April 18, 2011

Adjusting- an overwhelming feeling

I am many blogs behind where I want to be, so every time I think of something I want to blog about, I just make a draft for it, use that as a reminder and then know I will have to get to it later.  So, as I write this, I have probably gotten over a lot of these feelings, but nonetheless, I wanted to blog about them as a memory for me and maybe so that it might be helpful to others who are giong through great amounts of change in their lives.

Returning back to the states has yet to cause any major culture shock feelings in me.  And I have yet to feel unhappy or weepy.  However, there are a lot of small things that have added up over the last few months, that at times, seem very overhwhelming.  I feel like there is so much to learn and to think about!  Buying cars, finding a house to buy, finding a place to stay until our house is ready, living without all of the stuff that we have in storage, restocking our kitchen with all of the staples,  getting signed up for insurance (health, car, etc.), finding new doctors, deciding on schools (or no schools!), signing up for extra curricular activities, getting Kroger cards and library cards, learning our way around the town (although it is a little easier for us since we lived here before) and that is just to name a few.  Any one of these in and of themselves is not really that big of a deal.  But, when they all add up, it makes for a very busy life!  And some very tired people!

First of all, we got new cars.  That seems easy enough.  It is fun to have new cars (actually they are just new to us- not literally new).  However, with new cars- you have to learn how to use them!  There are new door and alarm locks that you have to figure out how to use, especially on a mini-van (lots of doors that move and slide on mini-vans!).  I still have to think every time I look at my door opener, which button opens which door?  And then you have to adjust to where the windshield wipers are, where the lights are, how to turn on the air conditioner on, how to turn the seat warmers on.  Plus, we have never had GPS on a vehicle.  Our Honda has the Honda navigation system, which is great!  But, it took me a while to figure out exactly how it worked. 

Secondly, we got iPhones and are learning how to use them.  I already blogged a little about adjusting to technology, but I probably can not say enough.  Learning how to use a new smart phone when all you have had is a palm pilot from 10 years ago, is a BIG adjustment!  I had to learn how to make phone calls (not to mention put all my new contacts in), how to use the internet, how to set the phone up, how to check messages, how to sync it with my computer, how to set-up a task list and calendar (and these are very detailed and lengthy in my case), and the list goes on.  Again, I absolutely love my iPhone, but it has it's learning curve. 

Thirdly, we have been house hunting.  That is a very overwhelming feeling!  Trying to decide which house will be best for your family is nothing to be taken lightly!  And a house is not like picking out a pair of shoes that you later decide hurt your feet or you just don't like that much- you are stuck with living in a house every day if you don't pick one you really like!  And you are certainly footing the bill for your choice for much longer than that pair of shoes!  And it seems like you never find the absolute perfect house.  One needs some updating, one is a little too expensive, one doesn't have the fenced-in-yard you always dreamed of, one is too big, one is too small, one has green carpet, one has a tiny kitchen, one is not in the best location, etc, etc.  It requires lots of thinking and lots of questioning, which always equals a higher level of stress than normal.

Another thing that I am trying to adjust to is shopping.  I am trying to figure out which stores have better prices on which items, as well as learn to coupon.  This has been somewhat frustrating because we still don't have a home to have a newspaper delivered to, so I have to remember to go and get the paper.  And I still can't print out coupons from the computer, so I am very limited in that area.  I have been researching about how to coupon and I get emails from various couponing blogs, so I am aware of where the deals are and what they are, but I just don't have the coupon base that I need or the ability to print them out.  So, I feel every day like I am missing all kinds of great deals.  It is very frustrating!  And also with shopping- there are so many choices in the U.S at the grocery stores!  In Paraguay, pretty much every store carried the same items at around the same price.  And there were no coupons, so I didn't have to worry about that aspect.  I also didn't have to worry about which brand to buy, because there was usually only one or two brands and the choices were pretty easy.  The cereal aisle at Wal-Mart is just absolutely overwhelming!  Where do I start?  A huge percent of what is in the grocery store today has been invented or changed since we left 8 years ago!

We are just really busy and trying to balance a lot of activities in our lives like time with our kids, spending time with our church family, spending time together as a couple, finding alone time (a personal favorite of mine!),  getting involved with the community, exercising, sports for the kids and homeschooling.  We have also been looking at school options for the kids: trying to decide between homeschooling and private christian schools.  And then we are going to have to do some rennovations on the house that we are buying as soon as we close on it.  That involves a lot!  We are looking at appliances and trying to decide which ones we can afford now and if they will fit in our kitchen.  Also we are looking at replacing a lot of the flooring in the house, so we are looking at hardwoods and laminates and trying to decide which way to go on that.  And not to mention doing all of this on a budget!  And the list goes on.  And it is a long one!  It is just a lot to think about. So, needless to say, there are many moments that I just can't find enough time in the day to get my daily "to do" list even started, let alone completed.  And most days I am trying to think through all of this stuff and get some things done while raising three little kids.  I get overwhelmed just writing about all of it.  I think right now, my biggest "culture shock" has very little to do with the culture here or the culture in Paraguay, and more to do with just the whole process of moving back to a country after being away for so long.  So, when people ask how we are adjusting- I like to think that we are adjusting pretty well.  Just pretty overwhelmed and pretty tired most of the time.  But, what more can you do than take it one day at a time and do the best that you can each day.  I long to have a routine and feel settled somewhere after 3 months of living out of suitcases.  But as I try to remind myself on a regular basis, "This too shall pass!"

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