I ran out of time in Paraguay to finish out my "What I Will Miss and What I Won't" about Paraguay series of blogs, so I decided to just wrap it all up in one blog.
I will not miss those paraguayans who never learned to form a line or wait patiently in one. I am not sure why this is, but I found it to be fairly common to be surrounded by people who had no concept of whose turn it was; and therefore, assumed it was theirs. In the streets- rarely did it seem that anyone knew whose turn it was to go. You just went whenever you thought it was your turn- which apparently was always! And another example is when waiting in line for an elevator. When that elevator door opens- those who get in are those who push their way to get there. And the very worst aspect of elevator riding is when you are trying to get out of an elevator. The "getting into the elevator" crowd is so caught up with getting into the elevator that they forget to let you get out first. Another example is waiting in line (or not waiting)- in the grocery store, in a pharmacy, at the bank, in restaurants, etc. I was once in a busy pharmacy waiting in "line". I had been there for a while and the line was not moving very quickly. I finally realized that it was because people were cutting in front of me I decided that unless I became somewhat agressive, I would never get out of that pharmacy with my purchase. I started trying to move closer up to the counter, along with everyone else. When I finally got up to the front, I was so excited to be the next person in line. Right as the salesclerk got to me, the guy behind me reached over top of me and tried to hand his prescription to the salesclerk! I spoke up, gently pushed his hand off of me and said "I am the next in line" (in spanish, of course). He acted as if I was insane, although he knew full well that it was not his turn! I will not miss those many paraguayans who never learned to form lines!
I will not miss the insanity of Paraguayan traffic. I have always been a rules follower and a person fond of orderliness. Neither of these principles can be seen functioning in the streets of Paraguay. I have always thought that driving in Paraguay is kind of like playing the atari game frogger. I am the frog and to get from one side of the street to the other (or to get from one side of Asuncion to the other), you just have to dodge moving cars, people, horse and buggies, pot holes, large trees in the road, parked cars in the middle of the road, parked cars on the side of the road buying fruits, etc. It is as if there aren't any rules. And in reality, for most people, there aren't because they don't know them! You see, you only have to learn the laws and regulations of the streets if you get your driver's license in the capital city. And since you have to take a written and driving test in the capital city to get a license, what do the Paraguayans do? They go to a small town outside of the city and just pay for a license. Yep, you can walk into a driver's station, give them your information, pay them some money and you walk out with a driver's license. And everyone wonders why the traffic is so crazy!
I will also not miss the extreme bluntess of some Paraguayans. When I was pregnant, I was told more times than I ever really wanted to hear "Oh look, here comes the little fat one!" By my third pregnancy, I finally accepted it as a term of endearment. Before I was pregnant, I was often told that I was way too skinny. I can't say that I appreciate people who lie, but there are times when blurting out the truth(especially when unsolicited), is not the best option either. We often laughed amongst us american missionaries because it really took a long time to get used to hearing people say that we didn't speak spanish very well or that we had gained weight or that our hair looked bad. But, to those who were more blunt, I think that was just typical, normal day conversation. I remember having a conversation with some of our paraguayan friends. They were asking us if we had any fat friends. We said "well of course we have some overweight friends (notice how we change that term to make it sound better), but we certainly don't tell them that!" They did not understand that concept. They were like, "well, why wouldn't you tell them?" "Don't you care about them and want them to lose weight so they will be healthy?" We told them that we definately cared about them, but you just don't say that kind of thing! It made me laugh to hear that they thought we were doing an injustice to our friends by not telling them and we thought that it would be rude to tell them! I always loved learning to see life from a different perspective while in Paraguay. I have to admit that it is sometime easier just to say what you mean and not worry about how it comes out, but for the most part, I won't miss the extreme bluntness that some Paraguayans practiced.
What will I miss about Paraguay?
I will miss the medical care! Every time I mentioned on the internet about one of us being sick, the first thing that someone always asked was if we needed to return to the US to get better healthcare. My answer- "No way!" Our health care was fabulous in Paraguay! Let me distinguish the various healthcares though. Public healthcare was something that I would not have ever wanted to be a part of. For the most part, it was free, and that was a definate blessing to the people of Paraguay. No one was ever denied health care for a lack of funds. However, the healthcare provided for free was a little less than desirable. Over-run hospitals, often dirty with huge rooms full of 20 or more beds. They were often like other Paraguayan buildings, very open to the outside climate. That can be good, or it can be very, very hot! And lots of mosquitos and other bugs. Not exactly what you want when you have a dengue outbreak and the hospitals are overan with infected people and the mosquitos are biting them and then moving on to bite other people! Yikes! One of our church members went to a public hospital to have her baby. She was planning on having a natural childbirth so she didn't buy her "c-section" kit. She was in the hospital and her labor ended up with some complications. They didn't have enough rooms to keep her in, so she was laboring on a bed out in one of the hallways. They checked on her every so often and they realized that she needed to have an emergency c-section. However, without her "c-section" kit, they would not do the surgery. Her friend was with her and she finally found another lady who was waiting on a bed in the hallway who had came in for a scheduled c-section and already had her purchased kit with her. She talked the lady into giving her the kit for our church member so that they could do the emergency c-section and while she was in surgery, the friend went to a pharmacy down the road to buy another c-section kit to replace the borrowed one! And that story alone is why I would never want to go to a public hospital. But private healthcare and hospitals in Asuncion were a completely different story. First of all, our insurance was very inexpensive. And it covered pretty much everything except for medicines (but most medicines were only a few dollars anyway). And secondly, the doctors did not have to have as many patients as they do in the U.S., so they were able to spend much more time with each person. With all of my doctors and the kids doctors, I had their office numbers, home numbers and cell numbers and was encouraged to call them at any time. They always either answered their phones or got back to me as soon as they got any messages that I had left. It was wonderful! And I could normally get the kids in to see their doctor when they got sick the same day that I called to get an appointment. And thirdly, the hospitals were very nice and up-to-date. In fact, Walker and Olivia were both born in a brand new hospital that was nicer than a lot of the small town hospitals that I have visited in the U.S. And whenever we needed medicine, we could call and tell the doctor what was wrong and they would just tell us which medicine to go and buy at the pharmacy. You didn't need a prescription for hardly anything! So, I will definately miss all of the many perks of healthcare in Paraguay!
I will miss the freshness of foods and lack of preservatives. Paraguay is a country where it is said that if one goes hungry, it is out of pure laziness. There is fruit falling off of most of the trees in every yard. Our back yard at the church building had mangos, star fruit, acerolas, bananas, guava and a few others that I can't even think of right now. The stores were also full of fresh and delicious food! There were very few aisles in the grocery stores that had snack foods, chips, canned foods, etc. At first, this drove me nuts! But I grew to love it! Our family ate so healthy while we lived in Paraguay. We weren't tempted by the 20 aisles of food that is made with high fructose corn syrup and preservatives out the roof. We lived on fresh fruits, vegetables, grains and meats. It was great! The bread was so fresh that it would only last for a few days. I learned to put it in the refrigerator after the first few days so that it would stay good a little longer. My first few weeks back in the US are always tough because our whole family (and our tummies) have to readjust to the food- everything is packed with man-made "stuff"! I will really miss the food of Paraguay!
I will miss being a part of a team. Everyone told us that the best and worst part of being a missionary is the team you work with. I agree wholeheartedly with that statement! Some of my darkest days in Paraguay were due to struggles within our team. But some of my richest blessings were also due to being a part of a team. I think that outside a marriage, there are few things that bring you closer to people than leaving your family behind and moving to a new country to do mission work. You rely on one another like you have never had to rely on people. You face struggles together and you celebrate victories together. And probably the hardest part is that you are always together! Every facet of your life- is together! You work together, you go to church together, you are each other's social group (especially at first), you are each other's family, you celebrate holidays together and on and on. This is actually a very tough aspect because if there are any frustrations or problems, you can't get away from it. In a normal job, if you are frustrated with something at work- it doesn't effect you at church or in your family or with your friends. But on a mission team, they are often all the same group of people! But it can also be such a blessing! The people on your team can often understand you like no other people in the world. You have a special "intercultural" bond that does not exist in most relationships. And it is just fun to know that you are all working together to serve God in such a fun and exciting way. It is like you are all on a big adventure together. And you grow to love the same people in the congregation as it grows. I often thought that it would be hard for me to be just a stay at home mom that did not get to go to team meetings and feel "a part" of something great. I was always able to be as involved as I wanted to be or as I had time to be. I will really miss being a part of that. I will really miss having those close relationships. I will really miss being in a group of people that were allowing God to work through them to teach the people of Paraguay about Him. What an amazing blessing!
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